who knows ?
by loveofwriting
Summary: The story starts after the events at the Ravine... Sean comes back. Will he be part of Emma's life? How about Ellie? and Jay? Plus somebody else from Emma's past decides it is time to reappear ! I love feedback, please review !
1. Come Back

As you know, I do not own any of those characters, nor Degrassi -)

I added some to chapter 1&2 because I thought they were lacking in contents a bit. I should put a new chapter up this week-end.** Please read and review, I love feedback including constructive criticism ...****  
**

**Who knows?**

**Chapter 1 : come back**

Emma could not stop crying. She knew that she was as responsible as Jay about what happened. She knew that she had shoulders to cry on : her mum and Snake had been great, even Manny helped her through the first days back at school…Though the only one who could make her feel better was too far. Sean…she whispered…She did not want to think about Sean. He was in love with Ellie and she was a nice girl. There was nothing she could do, nothing she wanted to do…

She slowly stood up and looked at herself in the mirror "_everybody makes mistakes Emma Nelson, everybody does, even you…_" She had been so used of being "perfect" that this realization was a bit hard for her. She did not want to disappoint people; she always thought that she was strong. She believed in many things such as fighting for the environment, she almost always stood up for herself but she did not know that deep inside she was like everybody else fragile and that she too could be broken…She had an hard time letting go of the idea that she could not always be in control. Maybe that is why she was blaming herself for what had happened with Rick, it was easier than to admit that she could not have changed alone the dramatic events that took place at Degrassi…

Her cell phone made that familiar "message" sound, she was afraid it might be Jay. He used to do that sometimes to let her know he was at the ravines, "back in those days"…but it was Manny letting her know that they had to meet for a school project sometime during the week. Emma finally turned off the light and closed her eyes. "_Tomorrow is another day and who knows, it might even be a good one_!"

Sean was having dinner with his parents. They were not so bad, he told himself. They have been very supportive since he came back. He felt better now. He had time to fix stuffs and think a lot. He still was confused about certain things, such as why did he have that pain in his stomach when he looked at Emma in the car? Or, why hasn't he called Ellie? He wanted to, he just was afraid about what he might say or not say.

"_You are very quiet tonight, son_" said his dad looking worried

- _I know I'm sorry. It's just that I wonder if I should go on hiding or if I should try to go back. I mean you have been great to me but I left so many things behind me, it's like I ran away…It seems to be my only answer when things get tough._

- _No matter what you decide son, this time you know you can always count on us …Sean, your ma and I, we…we're very proud of you_"

Sean looked at them and smiled. He knew what he had to do…

Emma got up on time for once. She took a long hot shower. Then, she carefully picked clothes to wear, pair of washed jeans, cute red tank top: casual but still sexy. She was on a low key since the entire school found out what she was up to in the ravine. She did not need to remind them of her presence by being too noticeable. The song playing on the radio "Nothing compares to you" by Sinead O' Connor reminded her of Sean,

"_It's been so lonely without you here  
Like a bird without a song  
Nothing can stop these lonely tears from falling  
Tell me baby where did I go wrong?  
I could put my arms around every boy I see  
But they'd only remind me of you  
I went to the doctor and guess what he told me  
Guess what he told me  
He said, 'girl you better try to have fun  
No matter what you do'  
But he's a fool...  
'Cause nothing compares...  
Nothing compares to you._"

For some odd reason, she still had butterflies thinking about him which made her feel guilty and incredibly silly. "_Ok Nelson, Sean is in Wasaga Beach probably calling Ellie every single day of the week, you did not get any news, so move on already and just deal with surviving another day at school"_.

The phone rang, quite early for anybody to be calling

"- _I got it Mom" _

"- _Yes ?_

- _Hey Em it's Manny_

- _Are you ok? It's quite early you know_

- Y_eah I was just wondering if you wanted me to go pick you up. You know…I mean it's not that you need backup but I thought, the past couples of weeks have been…_

- _Hey Manny, thanks. I'll be waiting for you"_

They arrived at school laughing, Manny was doing the perfect imitation of Paige at school; Emma could not believe that Manny was still there for her after everything she put her through

"_I'm so sorry Mann, I really am_

- _Emma Nelson what did we say about you apologizing? I told you a million times, it's ok_!"

Emma was feeling much better; she left Manny to go to the bathroom. Of course, girls were still whispering as soon as she entered a room and of course they would sometimes laugh or call her names…She would just look at them straight in the eyes and keep her head up, no more hiding or crying whenever that would happen.

She went to her locker and while she was getting books out, she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"_Em…_" she held her breath, closed her eyes, she thought she might be dreaming. This voice, she would recognize it everywhere.


	2. sweet and sour

**Chapter 2: sweet and sour**

His familiar strong hands gently turned her around. "_I can not look up, if I do I will just realize that it is only my imagination_" But when he wrapped his arms around her, she felt safe again and simply let go of everything. She was herself against his body, her head hiding in his chest. Whatever she'd done, whatever she'd been through, she was real and herself. "_His arms even got stronger_", she thought with a smile.

Why did everything have to be so simple when she could feel his warmth? Memories were coming back to her. How could she know that the same images were going through his mind? That he too was being nostalgic holding her so tight like he was never going to let her go?

The first time she "saved" him from a fight at the school dance, their first disastrous date looking in trash, their first kiss, the first time he came over for dinner and how nervous he was, their fights, their laughs, his support, her stubbornness, his kind smile, her faith in him…She was back at the place where she knew who she was. How would she have liked to have done things differently…how she would have liked to rewrite the past.

She always thought that they had a special connection, the type of bond that basically never goes away. He was her first love, her only real love, why did she keep on thinking that he will always be the only one? That in 5-10 even 50 years down the road, she would still have tingling sensation just knowing he was around.

"- _oh Em, why are you crying_?" His worried eyes tried to look through her. He could not believe how right it felt to just be holding her. She was slowly calming down but still did not say a word. And as he was going to say something…

"_SEAN !!!!_" Emma pulled away before he did. She heard Ellie screaming his name through the hallway. He, of course, heard it too. Most of the students heard that scream. Most of them actually seemed to have great interest in what was going on. They were looking at the scene like it was a soap opera. Sean coming back, hugging Emma, Ellie running towards him would probably be the gossip of the day.

Ellie was usually not that demonstrative. Sean was smiling. Of course, he was happy to see her. She still meant a lot to him. They were so much alike. They also had a history together… She had tears in her eyes as she came closer. "_Em, I'm sorry I'll be right back_" That's when he realized that she had left. He leaned against the locker…

Emma had to leave, she did not have the strength to see the both of them reuniting, especially after having felt his arms around her, smelled his cologne. She needed some time to put on the brave face and the fake smile, to then show them all that she did not care, that she was not hurting…

* * *

Sean and Ellie were looking awkwardly at each other. Ellie thought that she would be relieved as soon as he will be near her again. She really believed that she needed him in order to be balanced. Though, she realized that she grew stronger. She just could not rely on somebody to stay emotionally stable. Even if that somebody was the sweetest guy she ever met. Even if every time he would get closer to her, her heart would start racing…

After seeing that the first person he would go to was Emma and not her, his alleged girlfriend, she did not really know how to react. As soon as she saw him, she yelled his name spontaneously, she did not notice who he was holding right away. She felt sad but not as desperate as she thought. She just was not sure what to say now. Should she hug him? Should she kiss him? He had not called since he was back in Wasaga Beach and she did not dial his number either. He needed some time and as much as it was hard for her she gave him the distance that he needed.

After a few minutes starring at each other, he finally succeeded to say something to her.

"-_Ellie, you look good. I've missed you, you know_.

- _I've missed you too Sean. And yes, I actually have been doing pretty well. You know, same old same old. How about you?_

- _Well it's pretty long and I don't know where to start._

- _Sean, do you remember when we started dating? I explained to you that it was the first time I was doing the "relationship" thing…_"

He smiled at her remembering their very beginning. He tried to get closer but she stepped away.

" -_ well you said that if I did not know how to do something I could come to you, right _?

- _true_

- _then I think I need an advice, how do we know that we need a break? I know you've been gone for quite a time and I thought that as soon as you would come, we could just pick up where we left. We said "I love you" but did we mean it ? the real love not the buddy friendship that we have sometimes…I'm just confused and I know you are too…I mean you went to see Emma first, not me. And I know she needs you right now. She has not been doing good Sean and how much it scares me to say that, I think you're the only one she would accept help from. So, what do you say about that "break thing"?"_

Sean listened to every word she said but in his mind all he could hear was "Emma was not doing good". He took a deep breath, kissed Ellie on the cheek and replied

" _Ellie, I don't want to hurt you and I think you're doing pretty good on the relationship thing, better than me right now actually. I gotta admit I'm confused and I guess the break you're talking about might be a good idea_"

Ellie just nodded, said she had to leave, that they could talk later and turned away. She went straight to the bathrooms, tears rolling down her pretty face. "I can do it" she kept on repeating herself. Sean was not the only one confused and she knew the break was a good idea but it still hurt….

Sean did not really do what to do with himself. Everybody was saying hi to him…but he had to find Emma.


	3. time

Please review :-)

Chapter 4: Time

Emma thought all she needed was some time before going back inside school but when she saw Jay and Alex going towards her with a big smile on their face, she decided it would just be better to just skip classes and go back home.

The situation with them was still very strange. Jay would always make comments about what happened between them in the ravine. Of course he would make those when Alex was not around. And of course Alex has been trying to make her life a living hell and so far she has been doing a pretty good job.

Emma did not know how much Alex had been hurting since the entire STD thing came out. She knew that Jay was the guiltiest of all and she still came back to him. "Just to get back at him one way or another" she kept on telling herself but she also knew that she could not let go. She was supposed to be the bitch, the strong and mean girl…Though, she was feeling so bad about Rick and she was responsible for what happened. Jay knew and he did understand what she was going through. She needed him. She suspected that Jay actually missed Emma. She would catch him looking at her but he would always join her in the project "Let's make miss Environment regret that she was ever born" She believed that the only reason he was so mad at her was actually because she let go of him and their games. She had been stronger. Jay is not the type of guy who is used to that and Emma seemed to have proven him that somebody could actually walk away from him, who is only another addiction.

When they saw Emma with tears in her eyes on the steps of Degrassi, they figured out it would be a good time to remind her that she had way more reasons to cry…As soon as she left, Jay took a deep breath. He was relieved…He was torn in his feelings : guilt, confused, love, respect…He wanted to make it up to Alex but he was tired of hurting the other girl who no matter what he ever said never lost his respect…the ex prude princess of school…

"_Jay _!" Jay was usually not the type of guy to be afraid of anything, but when he heard Sean's voice, he was not feeling very confident. So, his "best" friend was back…"_I wonder if he already heard what happened to his precious Emma_"

Sean was smiling to him so Jay just pretended like nothing had happened since they drove away from Wasaga Beach leaving Sean behind. He just hoped that Alex would also know how to stay quiet on the subject.

Emma was still crying, she could not help it. She changed her mind about going home, she would have to explain to her mom what was going on. She did not know if she could pronounce the name of "sean" without having all her feelings written on her face. She thought of going to the ravine but it was filled with not so happy memories.

She wished the only thing she could remember of this place would be her cleaning/making out session with Sean. How innocent she had been! If she could change what happened, she would not have cared if anyone had seen them. They were not doing anything wrong and she understood why Sean had been so upset. He must have felt unwanted and unworthy while all she wanted him to feel was how much she loved him. She was just scared at that time and was paying too much attention to what people might have though if they knew what "miss innocent Nelson" was doing with bad boy Cameron while taking care of the environment…"yeah cos now it's much better what they all think of me" thought Emma ironically.

The ravine, now, was the symbol of her getting an STD. She won't deny what happened. She won't even deny that she even enjoyed it at some point. Not so much the sex part because as much as Jay and her got some kinda of understanding between one another, she still did not have the butterflies for him. She felt some kinda of power though, when she was pleasing him. Moreover she believed that she was getting involved with a group, that she also could be in…

She knew better now…

She kept on walking until she arrived to the one place that would always calm her down and smile…the beach.

It was not only the place where her mum got married but it was where she and Sean shared their first kiss. She always thought that it might be strange to kiss somebody but with him it just felt so right. She totally melted when it happened and just having his arms wrapped around her made her shiver. He was so strong and so unaware of his own strength. She sometimes even wanted to protect him…

She sat down, letting the wind dry her tears and closed her eyes…

* * *

"_So, tell me Jay what's up_?" started Sean. He looked briefly at Alex just nodding to say "hi". He did not understand why she had that little smile on her face. Usually, it was not a good sign. He actually did not know her that well. He felt sorry for her sometimes thinking about what she was going through with her mum and all. They certainly could have gotten closer. In more than one way she was like Ellie, kinda of like him too. Though the way she chose to deal with everything was much more different. Ellie still had her innocence and would never deliberately hurt anybody else than herself. And even bad boy "Sean" would have a sense of guiltiness. Alex with her angel face, had some real evil moves when it came to dealing with people's feelings.

Alex may be smiling, Sean thought, but Jay did not look that comfortable, which was even stranger. Oh well I've been gone for awhile, it must be me…

"_Well you know, not much, same old boring Degrassi, same losers…_

- _Ok I see_"

Alex looked at Sean.

"_So, have you seen tree hugger yet?_

- _yes I have but calm down with Emma, ok ?_

- _well maybe you should tell that to Jay or maybe you also could mention to her that going down on a guy that is not your boyfriend is not the greatest idea she ever had…I'm just saying of course. Not that you care since you have your own little weird cutter girlfriend. Now if you could excuse me boys, I'll let you two share some intimate secrets about miss Environment…oh wait, Sean, I don't think you ever got as much as your buddy Jay here…_"

She leaned towards Jay, kissed him on the cheek and walked towards the school. She turned around though to see Sean grabbing Jay.

"_What the f… did she just say, Jay ?!!! it's a joke right ?!_

- _Man, let me explain_

- _Explain what ????_

-_ Sean, listen, she was lost, depressed and shit man that was her choice too….She never did anything she did not want to and you guys were history anyways ! So get off my back_"

Sean had not lost his temper since he had gone to Wasaga Beach but he could not help his fist to land on Jay.

"_You're dead for me, Jay_"

Jay would have liked to fight back, he would have liked to explain to Sean, to tell him that with Emma it had been different. He would have loved to punch him also but instead he got up without a word. Alex was still standing close by. "_I cannot believe you did not pound him on the ground, Jay. What's up your ass_?" "_Alex, shut up_" She was surprised and no words came to her. "_I'm going for a drive, alone_", he said more calmly and left…

Sean could not stop thinking about Jay and Emma. That just did not make any sense. He was not quite sure that he still wanted to look for her right now, he had to know more first…He was feeling sick…why did he have to care so much anyways ? Jay was right they had not been together for awhile when that happened but it just did not fit the image he had of her. She was Emma, the one that is always there for HIM, the one that can take care of HIM and believes in HIM. She is the one who fights for the environment, who would not let him fool around while they were supposed to collect trash. She was the one who was perfect and suddenly that changed because of Jay...But at the same time, Sean started to realize that maybe this time around, Emma was the one who needed help or at least a friend she could talk to...He was simply confused and upset.

* * *

Emma finally got up. She knew she had to go get home at some point before her mum and Snake start calling people. She could not help but thinking about Sean, she looked inside her wallet and took out a picture. 

"_Oh my god, we look so young, who would have known?_" That picture was the one of their first date, the one she had wanted to give him when she felt he was slipping away because she did not have enough time for him. She did not understand back then how much he meant to her, how she would forever have him in her heart, no matter what. She still did not understand how they had come to an end. Fights do not necessarly end relationships but this one broke theirs. She was afraid that Sean was gonna find out about her and Jay. She would never be the same in his eyes, she knew that. "I_'m sure that it will be people's pleasure to give him all the details_"

She started to walk back home, when she heard somebody calling her name. A voice that sounded pretty familiar. She was not ready to see who was standing behind her…

* * *


	4. down hill

please let me know what you think :-)

**Chapter 4: down hill**

He changed a little bit since the last and only time they faced each other. He died his hair, he had a beard…but she still could recognize him and that made every inch of her body scream for help. She did not do anything though. She just stood there, her heart racing, her hands shaking, trying her best not to show how scared she was.

_"Little Emma, how have you been? I missed you, you know. I've been thinking a lot about you. Did you get to use your computer a lot lately?_"

Emma was just paralyzed. One could read fear and incomprehension in her eyes. "_how did he find me ? why is he even out?_"

* * *

Ellie was still in the bathrooms, she could not bring herself to go out yet. Ashley entered "_here you are, I've been looking for you everywhere ?! I heard about your little reunion with Sean, why are u here and not with him_? 

-_ Well Ash_

-_ Ellie, have you been crying, is everything ok ?_

- _I don't know, I mean I wanted Sean to come back but now that he's actually here, I'm not sure of anything anymore. I'm just so confused and plus, he went to see Emma first, not me_,

- _Well, I think that if Sean knows what miss Emma has been up, he's probably not gonna want to spend that much time around her…_

- _See, I believe you're wrong on that one. Sean has a tendency to have the attitude of a knight in a white armor. And as much as he cares for me, he always had feelings for Emma…I just feel it and I don't want to be second choice, the one he stays with out of habit and pity maybe_.

- _Oh Ellie…I'm sorry_

- _I don't even know if the same goes for me, maybe I'm just staying with him for the same reasons…Ok just let's drop the subject. I'm sad but I'm not desperate…So what's up with Craig ?_

- _He's great, we're great!_" replied Ash, her face glowing and with a big smile. She hugged Ellie and they headed towards their classroom.

* * *

Sean ran into Manny as he was making his way back to school. He wanted so much to ask her what was going on with Emma. He knew that the two girls had their ups and downs in their friendship but he also knew that Manny will always be there for Emma as Emma will always be there for Manny. He was afraid of the concern he felt over the entire situation. He could not put away the image of Emma and Jay together and it was getting him so angry and so sad. He could not deny that he cared more about her than he thought. Memories were also coming back to him, he would give anything he had to see Em smiling to him as she used to. 

Lost in his thoughts, he did not hear Manny calling his name. She had to tap him on the shoulder to make him realize that she was talking to him.

" _- Oh My Gosh ! isn't it Mr Cameron himself? And since when is Mr "I'm running back to Wasaga Beach" back in town" _Sean looked at her a bit confused but smiled and hugged her.

_" Please do not start explaining at once the reason of your return, have you already seen Ellie ? or let me guess did Mr Bad boy here could not stop thinking about a beautiful blonde I happened to be friends with?  
_

- _Well, no matter why I came back, that beautiful blonde you're talking about seems to have change a lot. I saw Jay and Alex and I found out what happened when I was gone. It seems that miss Nelson found a way to cope with everything! She apparently did not miss me and did not need me._

_- Sean, what you just said was soooo stupid. I can't believe that you out of all people would think such a thing about Em. And why would you care anyways? How do u think she felt when u decided to stay in Wasaga Beach? and for crying out loud, you guys were not even together anymore, remember ? or did you lose what you had of brains ? and if you do care, don't judge her. I still remember you telling in class the only person you've ever loved was her. When was that, like an eternity ago...if you still feel that way don't screw it up and do not dare screwing HER up._" She was really getting angry at him and was going to turn away when he said :" _Manny, I need help. I just don't get it, all I know is that I don't want Em to be hurt…_

- _It's a bit late for that, don't u think ?_

- _Manny, can you just tell me what you know? All I heard was some bits from Alex and Jay…_

- _I'm not sure that's my place to tell you anything..._

- _Manny, please…_" Manny was not sure what to do. She got closer to Emma with everything that happened and she knew that she had been waiting all along for Sean to come back. Would she betray her by explaining to him what she had been up to?

* * *

Emma finally found the strength to say something : "_what are you doing here _?" 

He was standing right in front of her and she could not escape him.

"_Well little Emma, I got released for good behavior as they said. Of course I do have a restraining order that states that I should not be around you. Though I could not help it, see how my little chat friend had been doing. Jordan misses you, you know_" he laughed

"_There was no Jordan, just leave me alone._

- _Emma, Emma, Emma, you grew up nice. Oh and I don't understand why you did not change your screenname. Maybe you were waiting for somebody to write to you ? I liked all these away messages. Especially the ones when you were saying you were at the ravine. I actually went there once and I gotta say you're not as prude anymore. So how about you show me what you learned there?_." Emma tried to push him but he was a rock. He raised his hand towards her but stopped himself when they heard somebody calling her name from a car.

Emma turned around and saw Jay. For once, she was relieved he was around. "_hey Nelson, do u need some help? Or at least a ride?_.

- _I'll take the ride_"

"_We'll see each other again_" he whispered in her ear before walking away. Emma took a deep breath, composed herself and got in Jay's car.


	5. Hauting memories

Sorry for the delay in updating... Hope you enjoy this chapter, please review, thanks

**Chapter 5: hauting memories**

As Jay was starting to drive away, Emma could not help the memories to come back to her. The way he tried to put her down, how scared and helpless she felt, his voice, breath, odor…how much she had wanted to disappear. The burn on her skin where he had touched her. The feeling of being dirty took awhile to disappear. She had to admit that she also was afraid the first time Sean and her kissed. It was so innocent and perfect but she still had in mind the first time somebody put their lips on hers...

She really thought she was over all that. She went on like nothing happened. She never really talked about it to anyone, never saw a counselor. It seems like everyone, including her, just behaved like it was all a nightmare. "_I guess it was just easier that way..._"

But,that past she tried to put away was still part of her no matter what would ever happen. "_How could I have ever been so stupid?_" she thought for a moment, then she smiled sadly "_wait Emma Nelson, it seems like you mastered in the domain of stupidity recently_"

"_So, Nelson care to tell me who that guy was? You're in way older guys now? Maybe you wanted someone as old as your dad to show you what u've been missing in the bed department. Or maybe he's the one who taught you those tricks you excelled in during your little trips to the ravine_.

- _Jay, stop the f… car now, I can walk. I don't need your bullshit right now._

- _Wow, calm down Emma._

- _No YOU calm down. I thank you very much to be for once at the right place at the right time but who do you think you are? Going around school with Alex making my life a living hell, now speculating over stuff you have no freaking idea about…I admit I was wrong when I blamed it all on you but you're going too far. We were 2 in the ravine and I'm definitely not the only girl u were having some fun with. So, why on earth are you and your girlfriend only on my case ????_

- _Emma, listen…_

- _You know what? I actually don't care Hogart, I don't care about anything. Now stop the car_.

- _Ok, fine. But there is something I want you to know and I'm not letting you out of that car before you hear it. I meant what I said Emma about you having virtue, you're way more worth than what we were doing. You're different, you're just you…_" Jay wanted badly to pull her towards him, to tell her that everything was going to be ok for her. He did not like the look she had, she was even more lost than before and just those suffering eyes that did not seem to find a way to heal made him mad at himself for being part of that sadness. He shook his head "_way to be Hogart, Emma is history and she's just a girl, Alex is the real deal_" he kept on telling himself.

"_Oh and Emma, Sean knows_" He could not have helped it, he wanted to see her reaction.She turned towards him, shocked. "_What? How can he know already, did that story make the news or what ????_

- _oh isn't that adorable ? Miss environment still have a little thing for bad boy Cameron…_" he said ironically. He just knew it. Emma, even mad or disappointed, even broken and helpless, will always have that feeling towards Sean. It seems like he was the only person who she could hold on to. He knew that before, he knew that when Sean left, Emma was more vulnerable. He really did not think she would go as far as she did with him...Somehow he hoped that she also found something in him, some kinda of comfort...

She did not say anything, so he just pulled the car and she got out without even looking at him. She started running towards her house. She was afraid every time she would see a man, she just did not feel safe. And she did not know what to do. She did not notice that Jay actually followed her. He just wanted to make sure that she got home. He really did not like the look of that guy and the way she was when she first got into the car. She seemed trapped in another world. He wished that he could have showed her that he was worried but that something that none of them were ready for. He also realized that he should maybe talk about that to the only person who ever got through Emma. And that was the last person he wanted to turn to...

As soon as she entered her house, he grabbed his cell phone. Instead of calling Sean like he first intented to, he dialed Alex's number "_Hey Lexie, want to go somewhere"._ She said yes but in her tone he could hear that she was not doing so good herself. One more time there was screaming in the background...And he felt awful to also have hurt Alex who was already going on through so much.

* * *

Sean could not believe what Manny had explained to him. They sat down outside of Degrassi and talked for what seemed like forever. She told him everything that she knew. She mentioned that what Emma needed now was less judgment and more comprehension. "_especially from you, Sean_" she even pointed out."_You're no angel and I think we all know that, you think you can just come back and she would fall right into your arms...well she probably would have this cuckoo banana if she was not afraid of your reaction and if you did not have a girlfriend silly goose...But between you and me, Cameron, if you hurt her, you will regret it._" 

He was not quite sure yet on how he was really gonna react about that entire story.

He just could not picture Emma in the ravine for any other reasons than cleaning it…But he smiled remembering how they ended up "cleaning", which seemed like a million years ago. He wanted to just be able to hold her again, to take the pain and the past away. He would love to go back time and change a few things.

He was still torn though in his feelings. He still could not help but being disappointed. He needed answers. Even if she was sad and confused, why did she turn to Jay? why did she do something that was not like her at all? What was going through her mind? "_And why why why do I have to care that much? Face it Cameron, that girl really got under your skin_" he told himself.

He decided it was more than time to have a talk with miss Emma Nelson.

* * *

Ellie was at what used to be "their" apartment. She was taking some clothes. She gave her 2 months notice and she still had some time before moving out but she was afraid of spending too much time around Sean. Ashley had told her she could come over but she decided she might as well start trying to live with her mom again. 

As she was packing, she found some old pictures of "their" happy times. That is when she realized that he would never be part of her life the same way. She slowly sat down on the floor, her back against the wall, her arms around her knees and broke down crying...


	6. Maybe

**Please review :-)  
**

**Chapter 6: maybe**

When Emma entered her house, her mum and Snake were at the dinner table. They looked very serious and she knew she was in trouble. She probably should have cared, she probably should have been afraid of the punishment. But her mind was too busy with other thoughts. She tried to sneak pass them. After all, she'd become an expert during, what they refer to as, "her ravine times". Apparently she lost some of her skills cos when she thought she was safe, she heard her mom:

"_- Emma, we need to talk..._

-_ I know, I know. You guys probably are aware of the fact that I skipped school today._

- _Well let's say that having me working at the same school as you go to makes it easier to be informed. Plus you had media today and I am pretty sure I did not see you in there._

-_ I'm sorry, it won't happen again._

- _We actually do not want to hear your excuses. We'll get to that later. It's more serious than that Em. Why don't you sit down?_"

Emma took a deep breath. All she wanted to do was go to her room, crawl under the covers and cry herself to sleep. She really thought that she could get over all that but seeing "Jordan" again was too much. Plus, she was also wondering what Sean might be thinking about her. She slowly dragged herself to the table and sat down.

* * *

Jay was on his way to pick Alex up. He still could not believe he had followed miss Environment back home just to make sure she was safe. Usually his tender side just showed when he was around Alex and they were alone. He knew deep inside that Emma meant something to him, he was not quite sure what. He was not the type to believe in real friendship between a man and a woman. Hormones just could not allow that type of relationship. He was confused to actually realize that Emma did matter but he was also sure that Alex also needed him. He understood her more than anybody else. He knew how to get to her, to reach through her armor. Though, he also proved that he knew how to hurt her and he was not quite sure if there was ever going to be a way to fix that…. 

Alex was waiting outside of her house. One more time she tried to get in between her mom and her "man" and one more time she tried to hide the black eye she got for playing hero with a lot of foundation. Jay was the only one she really would talk about what just happened. He is also the only one who knows her. Of course, she still plays the tough bitch around him but that is only because she was hurt by what she found out. She knew she should have never taken him back. "I mean, come on girl, you lecture Paige on proper boyfriend behavior and when you realize yours cheated on you with half of the degrassi female population, what do you do as payback: you cut him some slack!" She was mad at herself for that but in the mean time; she was not strong enough to go on without him. Her mum was not usually thankful to her for standing up and trying to defend her…In fact, her mum would mainly blame her own relationship problems on her. It seems as if it was Alex's fault if her dad had left them, if her mom did not seem to be able to keep a boyfriend… Alex convinced herself that it was also her fault if, when she was 9 years old, one of her mom's boyfriend slipped into her room at night and made her promise to never tell what he did to her. She strongly believed her mom knew and that was the reason why she was always so hard on her.

Alex was afraid that she would turn out just like her. Forgiving and forgetting because you think everything will eventually get better, believing empty promises and getting into the evil circle…She thought the tears that she felt coming. She did not want Jay to see them, she did not want to be pitied…

* * *

Emma was waiting patiently for her parents to start talking. She was too emotionally tired to start the conversation. 

"- _Em, listen, the police called today and something happened. I know we never talked about that time you met with that guy from the internet. I, we, probably should have sent you to see somebody, to deal and to express everything that you felt at that time. I'm sorry, I just wanted to forget that episode, put if far behind us and protect you. You did not appear in court because of that. But this time people need you to testify. That guy apparently has been out of jail for awhile. He's back in town and he molested somebody._"

Emma slowly looked up to her mother:

"_How old was that somebody?_

- _12 years old. It was the same scheme as what he used with you but this time nobody was there to stop him. Em, I know you've been having an hard time and I'm sure it's not helping but sweety, those people, this little girl needs you to be strong…._

-_ Mum? Where is he now?_" She asked that question hoping that maybe between their encounter and now, he would have been caught. She smiled a little just thinking that hope does die last….

"_They, they do not know…they would like to meet you, Em, as soon as possible"_.

Emma nodded; she could not bring herself to tell them that she saw him. It was too painful and she was afraid to say it out loud. Everything you actually say outloud seemed more real to her. It was easier to just keep her thoughts to herself…Her parents were explaining to her that somebody from the police would come see her after school the next day but their conversation was interrupted by somebody knocking on the door….


	7. Pains

REVIEW PLEASE :-)

Chapter 7: Pains….

-"_Em, it's for you_"

Emma walked up to the door, sure it was Manny, who probably was wondering how she was doing but she soon realized her mistake…

"_Sean? What are you doing here?_

- _Nice way to welcome me, Emma. Can I come in?_

- _Sure"_

She was not quite sure what to do next. It was just too much happening in only one day. Sean looked also awkward; he did not know if he should sit. He did not know if he should start talking. He simply did not where to start. He had hoped he could come back to Degrassi and figure it all out in 5 minutes but it was more complicated. He found that out as soon as he had held her in his arms at school and she had disappeared. He did not want to feel so helpless, he wanted to be her hero again but he also understood that maybe this time, Emma needed more than a hero. She needed a friend and she needed to find herself again….

He realized he was having a hard time looking at her. He could not help thinking about everything that Manny had explained to him and he was also afraid of what she might be thinking of him…

So, he opted to go say hi to her parents… They were surprised to see him but he also noticed the concerned look on their faces.

He, then, turned around to Emma to realize that she was not in the room anymore…

* * *

Alex and Jay were in his car. He was concerned by her silence and at the same time, he felt guilty of not being totally there for her. In fact, he could not help but think about Emma…. 

Alex was looking at him. She had not wanted to go to the ravine. For once, she felt vulnerable. Suddenly, tears started to roll down on her face, washing away the make up that she had put on as a mask to hide her bruise….

Jay tried to dry her tears with a finger and started feeling angry as soon as he saw what she had been hiding. He felt his heart softened for her and he promised himself that he would not let anybody hurt her, especially not himself.

He knew that their relation was vicious from times to times but holding her while she was slowly calming down, he also knew that he loved her….

* * *

Ellie had made her way back to what she always had a hard time calling "home". She was afraid of her mom, she was terrified that the same circle of pain was going to start again. She had wanted to cut herself so badly but so far, she had held pretty well and that actually was giving her a sense of power…. 

She knocked at the door and waited. She had the keys but she had too many bad memories coming home to a destroyed woman and she had decided that if she was taking too long to answer the door, that meant she was intoxicated. In that case, she would go to Ashley.

"_I'm counting until 5, Mom_" she told herself after knocking a second time, a bit harder….

She did not have to go up to 3, that her mom, sober and surprised, opened the door.

She took one look at Ellie's brave face and she just opened her arms and said:

"_Come here, baby_" opening her arms and for the second time in less than 2 hours, Ellie felt the pain of Sean and her not being together anymore and felt into her mother's arms….like she used to do when she was a kid and her mom was still the one she could count on. Before all the problems….Maybe this time, she would be able to lean on her and get the time to enjoy being a teenager without all the added drama to it and maybe she will be happy again, even without Sean.

* * *

Emma just went to her room. She did not want to run anymore but she did not feel she was strong enough to be social with her parents and Sean. She felt so confused and needed to relax a bit. She felt asleep pretty fast considering all the thoughts that were racing in her head. She woke up like many times grasping for air. It was difficult from times to times to get a goodnight sleep. As she opened her eyes, she felt a presence in her room. Her heart started pounding, she wanted to scream but no sound was coming out… 


	8. Feelings

**Ok I think this time I'm done with this chapter, I added something at the end :-) Please R&R :-) **

**Chapter 8: Feelings**

_I'm looking at you through the glass_

_Don't know how much time has past_

_Oh, God it feels like forever_

_But no one ever tells you_

_That forever feels like home_

_Sitting all alone inside your head_

"-_Emma, it's me, it's just me_". Sean's voice was calming, he was walking towards her. She looked so vulnerable, so afraid. He sat down on her bed and took her in his arms and for the second time in less than 48 hours, it felt so natural and right.

She was slowly realizing that nobody dangerous was actually in her room. For a minute, she had thought that Jordan was back and that he had come for her like he threatened he would.

"_What are you doing here?"_ She did not mean to sound so defensive but she could not help it.

"_Your parents let me sleep over tonight, I was going to crash on the couch upstairs but I decided that the chair in your room was more comfortable_.

_- So…you basically have been watching me …_

_- Pretty much_.

_- I don't know what to say_.

_- What? Emma Nelson is out of word, pretty unusual_…"

They looked at each other smiling; Emma hit him gently on the shoulder pretending to be upset. She could not remember the last time she felt that way.

The game became more serious when he put one hand on her face. "_I missed you, Em_". She wanted to say something but before she could, Sean leaned towards her and kissed her gently on the lips. She responded more than she had anticipated and she held on to him. "_I missed you too, Sean but you know…_." He did not let her finish. "_We'll have time tomorrow. I know there is a lot we need to talk about and to be honest a lot I probably do not want to hear but for now, it is just you and me._" They lay in her bed, cuddled up and he caressed her head until she feel asleep.

The next morning, as she opened her eyes, his arms were still wrapped around her. She moved him a little and he slowly woke up with a smile on his face. They kissed tenderly as if it was the most natural thing in the world and she reluctancly moved away "_I have to get ready to go to school you know, and Sean we do need to talk, if you think you can have it easy with me because you heard of what happened with Jay, why not get it over it with?_" She could not believe she had just said that. The hurt look of Sean's face made her turn away but Sean forced her to face him "_Em, you cannot push me away, not this time_." She smiled through her tears, it seemed as if all she was doing these days was crying like a fountain and whispered "_thanks_".

She went on to take a shower leaving a wondering Sean laying on her bed. They both had changed over the years but they both knew that their connection could bring them back to that place if both of them could just learn to forgive not only each other but themselves...

Sean went on the computer which was in Emma's room, it was making a beeping noise as if somebody was messaging her. "_Hey Emma, I think your computer is trying to tell you something!_" The water stopped and Emma appeared with a towel around her "_What????_" "E_uh...the computer...euh"_ Sean was embarrassed not because of what he wanted to tell her but with himself. She looked beautiful and he just wished this towel would disappear "_Ok Cameron calm down with the hormones, it's definitely not the time!_" he told himself.

"_Ok, well let me get dressed and I'll try to make sense of your "euh...computer...euh"_ she answered jokingly.

She was singing as she put on her clothes, something that had not happened in months.

"_STOP !_" Sean yelled from her room, she ran to see what was going on, worried that maybe her parents had gotten the wrong idea of him in her bed. Sean looked at her and started laughing "_What's so funny and why on earth did you scream???_"

"_Well Emma, I have to tell you something…You are right it is actually not funny"_ he suddenly looked very serious. She did not want to hear it, she knew this morning was one those "too good to be true" moments.

"_It is very important and I'm pretty sure you won't like it but I have to say it_" he could not look at her in the eyes which seemed like a bad omen for what he was about to say. She already was feeling the sadness coming over her.

"_Em, your singing sucks_" And he started laughing again, she looked at him, surprised but this did not last long and she reached the closest pillow to hit him with. They ended up kissing passionately. "_but Em your singing does suck_" he whispered in her ear and they both started cracking up again.

Her cell phone started ringing; Sean reached out for it "_Cell Phone of Emma Nelson, worst singer in Canada and probably in the world, can we help you? Oh, Manny, yes she's here hold on_"

_- Manny, hey, you really like calling me early in the morning don't you? No no no no no it's not what you think, well maybe it is…what do you think? Hold on my computer keeps on making that messaging noise, let me turn it off." _

Emma reached for the mouse and looked at the messages, some from Manny asking where she was last night, some from Liberty freaking out about the school newspaper for some reason, JT asking her how she was doing….and suddenly she let go off the phone and gasped.

Sean rushed to her side to see what was going on, he picked up the cell phone _"Manny, she'll call you back"_.

On the computer were pictures of Emma walking to her house, Emma in the ravine, Emma on the beach and all the comments said the same thing "_I cannot wait to see you again, much much love, Jordan_"

* * *

Jay was on his way to work. He was tired; Alex had spent the night over as she was afraid to come home. He did not know what to do. They had talked before about her moving in but she was always afraid to leave her mum behind. Plus, there was that entire trust issue that had come up with his ravine's extra-curricular activities….and there was Emma. When that thing started, he thought that was all fun and game. He remembers though how jealous he had felt when she kissed that guy who in the play with her: 

Flashback:

"_Jay: Are you hot for Dracula? Or are you trying to mess with me? _

_Emma: Are you gonna be in the ravine again tonight? Are we gonna party? I think I need another bracelet. _

_Jay: I don't like being messed with, okay? _

_Emma: I know."_

What was it about that girl that made him think about her? It was not a desire to just get in her pants _"even though it would have been nice if that had happened",_ he thought with a small smile. It was something else and it was something he needed to figure out before moving on further with Alex. He also knew one thing, he did not want Alex to leave him, he did love her and he also realized that Sean being back would not let him any chance to talk to Emma. Those two cannot just stay apart. They tried and that did not work for very long. "_I'm starting to think like a girl, come on man up Jay"_

Lost in his thoughts, he did not realize that somebody was following him….


	9. Nobody's perfect

Please read and review...I really appreciate feedback :-)

**Chapter 9: Nobody is perfect….**

Emma's mum and Snake had rushed down as soon as they heard the commotion that was happening in Emma's room.

"_What happened?"_ They were looking at Sean holding Emma in his arms. Emma's body was shivering and she had a blank stare on her face which started to scare them.

"_Would somebody care to tell us what is going on?"_ The urgency could be heard in Spike's voice.

"_Just go look on the computer, that creep has been taking pictures of Emma for awhile now, he's been following her_" Spike took a deep breath and tears came down rolling her cheeks, she was afraid for her daughter and for the first time she felt helpless. Emma's problems could be resolved when it was her behavior or her decisions. They were hard to understand but she could blame them on adolescence issues or on the shooting or on Emma trying all the time to perfect and finally realizing that nobody is. But, how could she stay calm when somebody from the outside was trying to attack her little girl!

"_We need to call the police, that's what we need to do" _Snake's voice was firm and reassuring and Spike smiled at him through her tears.

Sean's cell phone started to ring and Snake made an attempt at humor: _"See, that's probably already them and they must have Sean's number in file"_. Sean looked at Snake, shook his head in disbelief. "_It's Alex_"

As he answered his phone, his face took an even more serious look.

"_Alex, calm the f…. down….of course I haven't. Alex, stop it, stop freaking yelling. I swear I have not done it, I have been at Emma's all night….where is he? Alex, just calm down !!!!I don't know what you're talking about, I have not taken it….I was talking to Manny this afternoon before coming over here. Alex, tell me where he is. Listen, I'll meet you there…. Alex….I'm sorry_"

And he hung up. Emma, who had sat down on her bed during that conversation, looked up at him and with a surprisingly composed voice. "_What is going on? It's about Jay, isn't it?_" Sean looked embarrassed…he did not know what to do, what to say and to hear her saying his name felt like somebody was punching him in the stomach.

"_Sean, I asked you a question. What is going on?"_

"_- Alex was just freaking out about something stupid._

_Ok, Alex does NOT freak out for stupid things, and I have never seen her cry which I believed she was doing on the phone. I could also hear her screaming. So just spit it out….What happened???_

_It's Jay, he is at the hospital. Somebody beat him up on the parking lot of his job and Alex thought that was me…she thought I had came back to beat the crap out of him because of what happened between the two of you._

_But you were here with me all night_."

As she said that Spike turned to her "_All night?????"_ She sounded surprised but then realized that maybe it was not the time to discuss that particular matter.

"_Well and that's not it, Alex thought it was me as well because there was a picture next to Jay when they found him….There was a picture of you and him in his car, and according to Alex it was a picture from yesterday, it had the date written on it and on the back it said "She's mine_".

They stood silent for what seemed to be an eternity before Snake started to take the problem in his hands.

"_Ok, that is what we are going to do now. We are calling that detective right now Emma you stay here with us, Sean from I understood of your conversation, you go to the hospital and we'll take it from there_"

Sean wanted to know why Emma was in Jay's car yesterday, it just did not make any sense. Were they still secretly meeting? And why on the day he found out what was supposed to be "the past"?

But he knew that what she needed right now was more a friend than some jealous guy. He gave her a kiss on the lips, hugged her tight for a few seconds and left.

* * *

Ellie was still at her mom's, almost out of the door when the phone rang. _"Ellie, darling, It's for you_." For a split second she thought that maybe it was Sean, a break is not a break-up, maybe he had thought this over…."_It's Alex_" her mum screamed from the kitchen. "_Coming…."_

Ellie took the phone: "_Oh My God, when did it happen?, ok listen, what can I do? I'll be right over_". She turned around to her mom who looked worried and explained very quick _"I don't know if you remember Alex, we almost moved in together after Sean disappeared back to Wasaga. Her boyfriend Jay is at the hospital. She needs support, do you think you could give me a ride?_" Ellie's mom nodded "_Of course, let me just grab my keys_"…

* * *

Manny was looking at herself in the mirror wondering what was happening at the Nelson's house. "_I knew it though, hottie bad Boy Cameron still has a thing for Miss Emma_". She wished she could have that connection with somebody, she really thought that she and Craig had something special but she was mistaken. Even though, she was happy for Sean and Emma, she still did not understand the entire "_She'll call you back_" and the worry Sean had in his voice when he said that. 

She still had a bad feeling that something was going to happen when she stepped outside to go to school.

* * *

When Ellie arrived at the hospital, Sean was already there. He nodded towards her to acknowledge her presence but he was talking to one of the doctors. He seemed worried and Alex was cuddled up on one of the couches crying. Ellie went up to her and Alex started to explain in between her tears: "_They don't know if he is going to make it...they don't know if he is going to make it...Ellie, they don't know !_" Sean came towards them and gently touched Alex's hand, she moved away: _"It's all your fault, if you did not leave, Jay would not have touched Emma, that b... would not have sneaked up on our relationship, and whoever did that to him would probably would have beaten you. Come on Sean, we all know it, Ellie here knows it too, you get all weak for Miss Environment, she has you on a leash probably not the same one she had Jay on though. But wait hold on, you said you spent the night with her last night! so how was it Cameron? did you get a piece of her? is that why you stayed there all night? Was she good? were you still on her while Jay was getting beat up_?" She had started yelling but instead of getting the reaction she expected, Sean just held her until she broke down again and suddenly with an innocent voice sounding so young: "_Sean, they don't know if he's going make it...I need him_" 


	10. I just called to say

**Thank you everybody for reading. Please review, I would really appreciate it :-) Please pretty please with sugar on top...I'm just wondering if you guys like the way I'm going with the story...or the writing :-) **

**Chapter 10: I just called to say….**

The police came very fast to Emma's house. "_Jordan_" was definitely somebody that was on their priority list. Bill Morris was the main detective on the affair and he turned to Emma:

"_So, Emma, have you heard from him before getting the pictures today?_" Emma hesitated for a minute; she looked at her mother and Snake and shook her head indicating that she indeed had encountered him.

Spike put her face in her hands in disbelief, "_why did you not say anything? Emma, why?_"

"_It happened yesterday, as I was coming back from the beach…he suddenly was behind me and he was telling me how he had been let out of jail for good behavior. He also told me that he knew my whereabouts thanks to my screenname…I was scared and I did not know what to do. One of my friends luckily came up in his car and I ended up going home with him. Before I left, that "Jordan" whispered to me "We'll see each other again"" I don't know why I did not say it when I got back home…I'm sorry…_" Bill was looking at her with compassion. _"Emma, listen, we are going to have somebody protecting you, he is probably going to try to get in direct contact with you._"

Spike interrupted him: "_How do you know that for sure? He might be afraid, he probably knows that all the police of the city is after him after what happened to that little girl…_

- _Mrs Nelson, there is something that we did not mention earlier, we did not want to scare you for no specific reason but we found some disturbing letters in his last known address…_

- _What do you mean?_

- _He apparently has been writing to your daughter since he got arrested, he just never sent them. He is clearly obsessed with her and we do not think that he has any more common sense._

- _Do you think you will be able to locate him with the pictures he sent?_

- _Well….we will check for the IP address but I highly doubt it. He probably was in one of the many cybercafés that we have….Emma, I meant to ask you, do you have the contact information for that friend of yours who drove you back home yesterday?_

- _Hogart, Hogart…that name sounds familiar…Oh, yes, he is the one that was brought at the hospital early this morning. One of my men went to find out more about what had happened but he is a coma…Emma???_"

Emma had just let herself fell on the closest chair, her eyes were closed and she was breathing with difficulty. Her mom ran to her and held her until the breathing soothed and that Emma opened her eyes…

"_It was him, wasn't it? It was him who did that to Jay?_

- _We cannot be sure until we either catch him or until we can talk to Mr Hogart. So, Emma, my advice to you is to try to go living as normal as possible, we will have a car at your house, as well as at school. We will have somebody looking out for you until we get that man. Until then, please let us know if you hear anything. We are also going to take your computer and somebody in our office, will be signed on with your screenname in case he decides to contact you again. You need to be careful, your friends as well, it seems as if he is very jealous of everybody who approaches you…_

- _Oh my God, Sean!!!_"

Emma looked for her cell phone frantically, she dialed Sean's cell phone number but of course, he was off…

"_He's at the hospital, if Jordan took those pictures of me last night, he probably saw Sean coming in…_

- _We'll have somebody down there as soon as possible, don't worry._"

* * *

Ellie and Sean were now sitting at the cafeteria of the hospital. Alex had been authorized into Jay's room. His vitals were good but he still had not opened his eyes. The doctors were a bit more optimistic though. 

The atmosphere between Ellie and Sean was a little bit uncomfortable. She was trying not to look at him while he was contemplating his coffee as though it was the new "Mona Lisa".

Finally, Sean broke the silence.

"_So, Ellie, did you decide on the apartment?_"

Ellie was still not laying her eyes on him…"_Ellie, listen, I'm sorry, I really am_."

"_I know you are_" her voice was soft, he had thought it would be full of anger but all he could hear was more a sort of resignation.

"_I'm back at my mom's. She's doing better, we're reconnecting I guess…but tell me…that break is not really a break is it? I mean you ran over to Emma, you stayed over at her place at night. I don't think I should just wait on the sideline._

- _Emma and I, it's complicated. I'm not even sure if she would want me back_"

Ellie seemed to be growing impatient :"_Sean, I'm not asking you what Emma wants, I was asking you what YOU want. I'm not going to be your second choice…_"

Sean looked at her and tried to remember how it felt like to be with her. He tried to remember if he really loved her. He cared, yes, he had wanted her but has he really been in love?

"- _Ellie, you know how much I care, and I did love you, you meant and still mean a lot but…_

_I understand…but Sean…don't come back running to me if things don't work out_."

She got up and starting leaving but she turned back "_Take good care of her Sean if you love her like you say you do, don't screw it up like you did with me. It's not going to be easy and we all know how much you like to take off when the going gets hard. I'll see you around I guess"_. She went back to the waiting area close to Jay's room. Her head was high, her eyes were dry. She sat down and just waited for Alex to come out hoping that the news concerning Jay would be good.

* * *

Manny was almost at school, she still was worried and since she had left home, she had the feeling that somebody was following her, when suddenly a guy came up to her. He seemed familiar but she could not seem to be able to place him. 

He was not too bad looking, a little bit old but seemed friendly.

" _I'm sorry to bother you but I am a photographer for the Beauty's modeling agency and your look really caught my eyes_" Manny was flattered; she has always wanted to do something in the entertainment industry. She was keeping it a secret as she thought she would be teased but ever since they did that play at school, she felt the rush of at least giving it a shot. Maybe, that could be her opportunity…However, there was something that did not feel right. She also did remember everything that her parents had told her about talking to strangers, she may be not be 5 years old anymore but Emma was not either when she met with that creep who had been sending her emails…All of a sudden, she remembered why he seemed so familiar. The panic gradually took over her. She did not know what to do. Degrassi looked so close but at the same time so far away. Trying to regain control of her emotions, she answered:  
"_Thanks but really right now I don't time to even talk, I'm sooooooo late, it's not even funny_", she laughed a bit nervously but went on "_though, if you give me your card, I will definitely give you a call_". He seemed a bit confused by her reaction but answered quickly "_well…I don't have my card on me…how about you give me your number?_" Manny was used to giving false numbers to guys she was not interested in, so she did exactly the same as when a loser thinks he would be able to actually get a date with her. _"Sure, let me take a piece of paper_". As she was reaching through her bag, he grabbed her arm, she looked at him very seriously and way more confident that she actually was "_if you do not let go, I will scream like you've never heard anybody scream before_". Reacting like she had learned in her self defense classes, she quickly turned around and kicked him in between the legs as hard as she could. He grimaced of pain. As she was running towards the school, screaming for help, she heard him yell: "_Tell Emma that she is mine!_"

Out of breath, she ran into Craig. "_Oh my God, you need to help me. There's a guy over there and he…he….he…_" She could barely talk. Craig looked in the direction she had pointed "_Manny, there's nobody there…_" She stared at him for a few seconds, then turned around and saw that indeed he had left.

"_Are you sure you're ok?_" They had not really talk since what had happened between the two of them and Ashley would probably have a cow if she saw them but Manny looked desperate.

"_I'm fine, I'm fine. Don't worry about me_"

Not insisting, he went to school, still wondering what had just occurred.

Manny reached for her cell phone and dialed Emma's number but it sounded busy. She went inside the school, directly to the principal's office to call the police.

* * *

Sean went outside of the hospital to call Emma. When he reached her, she sounded very worried. She started explaining what the police had told her and he did not understand why she never explained to him about that episode of her life, especially with what had happened the day before. He was suddenly grateful towards Jay. He had the feeling, that would not have Jay been there, Emma might have disappeared from his life. Not being able to bare that thought, he smiled and interrupting Emma, he blurted "_I just called to say….I love you_". 


	11. My Immortal

**Please review :-) I really enjoy reading what people think of my story and it usually pushes me to update more often :-) Thank you to everybody who already reviewed previous chapters and for everybody who is reading it...Tell me what you think, hating it or loving it, let me know**

**Chapter 11: My Immortal**

_when you cried i'd wipe away all of your tears  
when you'd scream i'd fight away all of your fears  
and i've held your hand through all of these years  
but you still have all of me_

Emma could not believe that Sean just said the three magical little words that she had been dying to hear but never thought it would happen. As she did not respond right away, Sean started to feel as if he had said too much.

"_Emma, you don't have to answer…I mean…euh…_

_- Sean, you know I love you too. I just believed that after everything that had happened between the two of us, we would never be back at that place. Especially with what I did to Jay…."_ Sean had wished she had not mentioned that, he could not seem to get the picture of her and Jay out of his mind, and every time she mentioned his name, it was as if somebody was punching him in the stomach… or as if he should be punching Jay again…

"_Emma, you know what, let's just drop that for now_" He sounded upset, Emma could not believe that just a few seconds after making her so happy, he was already reversing to "angry Sean"

"_Sean, I have a lot on my plate right now, with psycho Jordan coming back to haunt me and me being stupid the past few months so if you're not ready to forgive me for something that I not only regret but also to be honest, that it had nothing to do with you….May I just remind you that you had left to Wasaga, and that I was not even the girlfriend you left behind…."_

Sean realized that she was getting worked up herself and started laughing

"_Ok Cameron, what's so funny?_

_- we do it all the time, don't we?_

_- What?_

_- Fight, argue…_

_- And why is that making you crack up?_

_- Because, Em, you're the only one that I want to fight with!"_ Emma smiled. "_Sean, that is the best declaration of love anybody said to me…_"

Emma wanted to ask how Jay was doing, she also wanted to know what had happened with Ellie but she was afraid that more fighting might ruin the moment that they already almost messed up with their wonderful tempers.

"_Em, I'm going to go check on….Jay and I'll be right over._

_- Sean !_

_- Don't scream, I'm still on the phone._

_- I almost forgot to tell you that the cops think Jay was beaten up by Jordan and they're sending somebody over cos they believe he might come after you." _Her voice was shaky as she was explaining, she was so afraid, not for herself but for Sean, for everybody who ever approached her and who might be on the "Don't touch list" of Jordan…

"_Em, don't worry…I'll wait for them and then I'll go to your place, how about that?_

_- Ok…just be careful…I love you_

_- I love you too"_

Sean went back inside and to the intensive care floor where Jay was being monitored. The police was already there. He chatted with them for a bit, they were reassuring but also wanted to make sure that somebody was going to stay around Jay to make sure that Jordan did not come back to finish what he had started. Sean tried to tell them that he himself did not need any help but they insisted that somebody followed him back to Emma's as well.

Alex was still in Jay's room so Sean turned to Ellie to get some news.

"_They basically said that they could see some progress. They are pretty hopeful that he will wake up_." As she was saying that, Alex came out with a smile that was lighting her beautiful but so many times stern face: "_He is awake_"

Sean felt relieved that he was going to make it, a point of jealousy was still in him but that is just something he was going to have to work on….

Alex went back inside the room where the doctors had just made sure that Jay was indeed recovering, and as she bent to give him a soft kiss on the cheek, she heard him whisper: "_Emma..."_ It felt as if her heart stopped, she did not know how to react. One side of her, the strong and stubborn Alex wanted to just leave, maybe even punch him while he was still out but the other side, the soft one, the real one, the one that could not hide her feeling, let herself fall on the chair, and started crying….

Sean hurried up out of the hospital with one of the policeman following up, once in his car, he smiled remembering that he could not speed…he could not wait to hold Emma in his arms.

He remembered their kiss on the beach at her mom's wedding.

_ Flashback_

_Emma: Hey._

_Sean: Hey. Uh it's a slow song and you're not dancing._

_Emma: No one really caught my interest._

_Sean: Oh. How 'bout now?_

_Emma: I'd love to._

_End of flashback_

Emma was waiting impatiently, she had changed her clothes a million time, her mom kept on reassuring her that she looked perfect…somehow she was happy that Emma was finally distracted from all the drama in her life. She just hoped that Sean would not do what he usually does best "break her daugher's heart"

When she heard the car, she sat down on the couch, trying to look very busy watching TV….Sean came in and started cracking up.

"_Sean Cameron, you have to tell me how you find humor in everything I do, I'm just watching TV…._

_- Emma, you're watching a special on slaughterhouses_." Emma turned to the TV to realize that he was right, she smiles, shook her head, trying to find a smart come back but before she could, Sean was already next to her….and she could not think anymore…

He caressed her face with one finger, and after what seemed like forever, kissed her with all the passion he had accumulated for her.

She lost herself in his arms and in this kiss, not wanting it to end.

_when you cried i'd wipe away all of your tears  
when you'd scream i'd fight away all of your fears  
and i've held your hand through all of these years  
but you still have all of me_


	12. Back to Normal?

Please review if you are reading this story :-) I'm not quite sure about the quality of this chapter so please let me know what you think...

**Chapter 12: Back to normal?  
**

They had started to get more comfortable on the couch and their passionate kiss turned to become more than they had expected. He could not seem to get enough of her and she was trying to take his shirt off wanting to feel his skin against hers…She was losing herself in the moment…

Then, suddenly, she pushed him away gently….She did not know if she could trust herself with him. After the ravine incident, people always thought she had done it, "the conventional way", maybe Sean was one of them too…maybe he just wanted to have sex with her…"_Would that be so bad?_" asks the little voice in her head, the one that kept on repeating since Sean had gone back to Degrassi, how even better looking he had become and how she had wanted to feel him close to her again. That night in her bed, when he held her, she not only felt secure, she knew she wanted more with him than she had ever wanted with anybody...She was trying to push the thought of Jay aside, Jay who was now laying in an hospital bed because of her…

Sean, was trying to keep focus on something else than Emma, if he just laid his eyes on her again, he would see images of them together that really did not need to be there right now…

"_I'm sorry, Sean, it's just…well…_" She did not want to say too much, she felt intimidated. "_With Sean, I feel anxious…that's great_" she thought ironically but she knew that with him, whatever she would do, it would matter…

Sean finally looked at her: "You know what? I think a cold shower will do me some good right now, do you think Mr Simpson and your mom would mind?"

She had totally forgotten that her mom was upstairs in her room and that she could have gone down any seconds…."_no go for it_" she replied…for a moment she had forgotten about Jordan, she had forgotten about her angst…she had found herself…

* * *

Manny was explaining to the police what had just happened to her… 

After taking notes and making sure she was alright, the principal asked her if she was feeling good enough to stay at school.

She hesitated a split second to reply but decided that she could use the day off, she wanted to know what was going on with Emma, and she was definitely dying to hear about what happened with Sean the night before.

One of the policemen offered her to drive her to her friend's since they had to go there anyways. They not only had to make sure everything was alright but they also needed to keep them updated on what had just happened.

Spike came back downstairs as she heard the water running; she thought that she had heard Sean come upstairs and she wanted to make sure her daughter was alright. Emma had the time to regain some sort of composure and smiled to her mom.

"_So…how is everything?_

_- Everything is fine, mom…you know I meant to tell you for awhile how sorry I was and this time I mean it, I lost it, I just did not know anymore and I know that I hurt you in the process…"_

_- Let me tell you something Em, everybody snaps…and the earlier you learn that sometimes you don't have control over some events, the easier it will be for you growing up…_"

They were interrupted by the door bell, the mailman was at the door with several packages and a letter for Emma.

"_Em, you got something"_, Emma took the letter from her mum's hand "_it's from here_"

She opened it: "_Mom, it's from him"_ Spike came closer to her daughter "_What do you mean, it's from him?_"

She looked over her shoulder and read:

"_My dear Emma, just wanted to let you know not to worry, I have to disappear for awhile but I will come back for you. I know we are meant to be together, and everybody else will figure it out soon enough like that guy you were in the car with. I'm going to show him that you are mine.  
You don't need to be looking for me, my dear and sweet Emma, we will make it through, just the two of us. Just be patient, love always, yours truly, Jordan_".

The police and Manny arrived to the door as they finished reading the letter. For awhile everybody was talking to one another, trying to understand what was going on. After everybody settled down, Manny was able to explain what had happened to her and Emma showed the letter she received. The police concluded that Jordan probably had realized he had to leave town or he would soon be caught. They were quite optimistic that they will be able to track him down. They reassured Emma that she was probably safe for the moment and that they would keep the security measures around the house, the school and the hospital for awhile.

_"It is not over yet Emma, but for now I believe you should go back to your activities, try to lead a normal life. We'll get Jordan before you know it…"_

They left and Emma felt relieved, she knew that she will have the thought of Jordan coming back in the back of her mind until they actually catch him but in the mean time, she wanted indeed to return to a normal life.

Spike hugged her daughter "_Em, I'll be upstairs with Jake if you need me, girls, enjoy your day off cos tomorrow you're going back to school_".

Sean finally felt "refreshed" enough to go back downstairs, as he walked down, he could hear Emma and Manny giggling and talking just like they were back when he first met them.

They both stopped chatting as soon as they saw him in the room, they were both smiling…

"_Ok Em, well I should get home now but give me a call tonight so we can finish that very interesting conversation…_" Emma pushed her laughing and Manny said bye to Sean, then turned around and winked very obviously to Emma. "_Don't do anything I would not do, but no matter what you do, don't forget to tell me everything"._

"_What was that all about?_" Sean asked jokingly..."_and why were you guys so happy suddenly?_"

Emma explained to him the entire story and how she was supposed to be safe for now. Sean took her in his arms and hugged her so tight that Emma thought he would never let her go.

* * *

At the hospital, Jay was still recovering. Alex hadn't moved since he had said Emma's name…her eyes were now dry but her heart was still bleeding. 


	13. A month later

**I'm happier with this chapter than with the last one. Please keep on reviewing...I really appreciate feedbacks...I don't want to sound needy (well maybe a little ;-) ) but I would love to reach 50 reviews :-)  
**

**A MONTH LATER**

A month had passed by since Emma got that letter from Jordan. Her life pretty much went back to normal. Sean was living on his own, his parents were helping him and he had found a job at a car shop which he actually really enjoyed.

School was school, she had started become involved again in different activities, the last one being "Bring awareness to global warming", Sean was teasing her that she was more "Miss Environment" than ever and she usually shut him up with a kiss.

He was being patient with her, he understood that she needed more time. Emma knew though that he would not have to wait much longer. She loved him so much than she would find herself smile in class for no apparent reason, Manny made fun of her but she was so happy for Emma. She loved him so much that everytime she was looking at him, she felt as if her love was even growing stronger, knowing it was impossible because she already loved him more than anybody ever loved somebody.

During their lunch break, Manny and Emma decided to use some private time, they had to talk. Sean was busy talking about cars with Spinner.

"Tonight is the night" Manny's eyes widened as Emma whispered to her.

"Oh my God, do you mean the night "THE" night?"

"yes, THE night, but could you please lower your voice, or the entire degrassi community will soon be aware of the fact that Sean Cameron and Emma Nelson will be sharing some very private time with one another…"

"I'm sorry but come on Em, this is big news! Are you sure you're ready? What are the plans? What are you going to tell your parents? What are you going to wear? How about protection? And does Sean know about it?

- Don't forget to breathe Manny, don't forget to breath…"

The two girls kept on talking and laughing before heading back to class. On her way to media, Sean hugged Emma from the back, whispering in her ear "Hello Gorgeous"

"Ok why don't you guys get a room….I mean…uh…you know…" Manny started to giggle nervously and entered the classroom before Emma had the time to give her a semi-evil eye…

"So, Miss Nelson, any plans for tonight?

- Well well well Mister Cameron, maybe indeed, involving a tall, blonde guy.

- Em, are you talking about Mr Simpson, cos it's kinda of creepy you know…

- Shut up! Eeewwwww…great way to put a girl in the mood Sean….hahahhaa…no, my plans for tonight revolve around you and you only. I can still come over to your place and cook dinner, right?

- Well … yeah…

- Ok, your face tells me you're still afraid of my cooking skills, I'll show you…

- I hope you will…." Sean had said this last sentence seriously, looking into Em's brown eyes. She felt as if her heart had skipped a beat, "you know I will"

"I'm sorry to bother the two of you, please do accept my sincerest apologies but class started 2 minutes ago." Snake was trying to be tough but he only got a quick smile from the both of them, before they actually joined the rest of the class.

* * *

Jay had been in a rehabilitation center for two weeks now. He apparently needed help to relearn how to walk. He got more bruises than he could count and his legs were in a bad shape after the beating he received. His fists were still turning white of anger every time he was thinking about that damn morning. 

Alex was there pretty much every day. She always had a sad face these days and nothing he could say seem to bring the "old" Alex back. He heard from Sean, who actually came to visit once. They were ok now, not great but not "I'm going to kill you for what happened" behavior mode He thanked him for giving a ride to Emma that day, they did not really talk, he just asked him how things were and Sean mentioned the fact that he and Emma were giving it a serious try this time. Sean did not say anything else because it just felt too weird to even mention her name in front of Jay…so then they started talking about Sean's work and Jay complained about the place though praising some nurses for looking very good in their uniform.

Jay also got the surprise to receive a card from Emma. She was as well thanking him for being there for her that day on the beach and she was apologizing for what had happened. He could feel the guilt in her words and wished he could just give her a call to let her know that it was not her fault but that would be risking his life. In his position he was no match to Sean and if he ever found out that he had called Emma, he probably would be dead meat.

* * *

Emma had everything planned out for the night, well almost everything. She was nervous but not as nervous as she thought she would be because she trusted Sean completely, she knew that she was ready…She had told her mom and Snake that she was spending the afternoon and the night at Manny's which only half a lie cos' she was indeed going to be at Manny's during the afternoon. They had to choose her outfit, do her hair…She had brought a huge sleeping back with her. 

"Are you planning on moving out?" Spike asked smiling

"well…no but Manny and I decided to spend the afternoon trying on clothes, playing with make-up…you know girlie stuff/

- I see…"

Spike was not totally duped by this story, her daughter was now 17, they had THE talk several times and even if she did not want to admit it, she kinda of knew that Sean was probably in the picture…she trusted Emma's judgment…

At Manny's, Emma could not seem to find THE outfit, the one that would make her look perfect.

"Where is that bra that gives me Manny's boobs" Manny threw a pillow at her "Well, you don't want to cheat Sean though, cos once the bra is off, it's Emma's boobs that he will see" and she cracked up while Emma started to retaliate throwing pillows back at her…

"Haha, very funny Manny…"

Emma was finally ready and Manny hugged her before she left: "you know I'm not going to war or to the university…just going over to Sean's" Manny replied "I'm just so happy for you Em !, and don't forget to give me details tomorrow…"

Emma knocked on Sean's door…."Just come in" she heard him scream from the inside. She opened the door and what she saw brought a very big smile to her face. Sean had put candles on the table and all over his apartment. He had a bouquet of roses as well and some petals on the table.

As he came out of his room, Emma's heart stopped by just looking at him. He had put on a usual pair of jeans but with a white shirt and a tie.

"You look….." she could not seem to finish her sentence.

"You too…." He answered with a smile…

"and the music, the roses, the candles…who would have known you could be such a romantic?"

" psshhhhh don't tell anybody…but Emma, are you sure you can cook?"

"Of course, I can…anything vegetarian but for you, I'm even going to make some steaks…"

Sean put his hands to his chest "Em, it means so much to me" he could not help but laughing and went towards her: "how about we take care of the cooking after.."

He could not stop looking at her: "What plans do you have Mr Cameron?"

He answered her with a kiss, running his hand through her back…she responded eagerly and Sean suddenly picked her up and went towards the bedroom.

They did not know that outside, a man was waiting for his time…


	14. I love you

Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi TNGO nor any of its characters...

Author's note: Thanks for those of you who review, please keep them coming :-) I think there might be two more chapters after this one and then I will have to say goodbye to this story which I actually really liked building and which was my first fanfic ever...

**Chapter 14: I love you**

Emma woke up to Sean looking at her. « Good morning sleepy head », he kissed her tenderly. Emma could not help but smiling « you need to get that grin off your face or your parents will start to wonder what made you so happy »

Emma started to run her fingers on Sean's body and drew herself closer to him « last night was...it was... » « for me too »

She started kissing where she had touched him with her hands and soon, Sean was laying on top of her. During the next hour they forgot the time, they forgot everything that was not them...They could not seem to get enough of one another. Last night had been tender and passionate, this morning it was even more so...

She had an hard time leaving Sean's place that day, when they finally emerged from bed, he cooked her breakfast and they talked. She just felt at ease and at peace with herself. Nothing seemed complicated for once with Sean and the drama was apparently over and way behind them.

She made it to the shower while Sean had declared he would clean up which surprised her a bit. She was just out when the bathroom door opened and Sean hugged her « my hair is still dripping from water, you're going to get yourself totally soacked » She was laughing « I love you Emma Christine Nelson » « I love you Sean Hope Cameron » and their lips found themselves locked together as if to seal the words they just exchanged.

Emma went home as if walking on air. She did not think about Jordan at that particular moment. Jordan who had been following her from far. The police seemed pretty sure he was in another town, they were following what seemed to be their best lead in the case.

Jordan knew better than to reappear now. He was used of trapping his victims. Emma was not the first one he had lured into coming to a hotel, it was safer than bringing them to his place just in case one decided to open her mouth. During the trial he had played repentant, he blamed his actions on an abusive childhood, on parents who did not care, on an uncle too willing to play with him at many grown up games. The truth being he did not regret any of his actions. If they had looked a bit closer, they would have found out that he had never met his uncle since he lived abroad. He did have a sad childhood but nobody ever beat him up. He did not fit the profile...

"Here you are honey" Spike could not help but worry every time she knew Emma might be walking home alone.

"How was yesterday at Manny's?"

"Wonderful mum, it was really wonderful" Emma went to hug her mom, who smiled gently knowing that the halo of happiness that seemed to surrounder her daughter probably had nothing to do with a girl's night at Manny's...

Emma hurried to her room to call her best friend, who had been waiting impatiently for that phone call...

* * *

Alex was walking quietly towards Jay's room, she did not know if she was ready to tell him but she had to somehow let the words come out...He smiled when he saw her coming in. He tried to give her a kiss but she gently pushed him away. 

" Jay we gotta talk " He knew that none of his jokes could make her stop now, she had that tone he feared to hear since his infidelities had made the news of Degrassi, the one that was probably going to break his world. She explained without looking at him that maybe it was better to stop their disfunctional relationship, she had tears in her voice. " I love you Jay, I really do, but the more it goes, the more I see I can't forgive and forget what you did, I can't even forgive, and the fact that you always seem to have a soft spot for Miss Nelson, really does not help the situation. I don't want to be that girl anymore, whenever I'm with you, I feel dirty, I start to feel like I could turn into my mother and it scares the hell out of me. I didn't want to lose you but if I keep going that way, I'm going to lose myself and I can't let it happen..." She got up without looking back and left.

Nobody was there to see that a single tear had made is way through Jay Hogart's cheek. He cursed at himself for being so weak, trying the whole "are you stupid, crying over a girl..." approach but the more it went, the more he felt that a part of him had left with Alex.

Alex did not want to go back home that day, she knew what was awaiting her. She did not know what to do with herself. The strong facade was gone, she knew she did not have any other friends than Jay, and she felt alone but for the first time in a long time, she also felt as if maybe it was just the beginning of a better her.

* * *

The days of the week went by fast for Emma, everytime she felt Sean's lips on her, she was ready to melt and to ask for more but it was hard to do in the middle of school.

She wanted him to meet her father. She remembered when she had wanted to find her birth father and that Sean had blown her off...she remembered the train ride with Craig and the panic she felt when she discovered what had happened to her dad...

Now, she had established contact with him, she went to see him often. Craig actually went back once or twice with her as moral support. Thinking about Craig made her mind wonder. She noticed that he seemed unhappy these days, and he always seemed to look at Manny. Ashley and him were going through a rough patch apparently and Emma just hoped that Craig would not try to use Manny again as a safe blanket. Manny was strong and she had much more to offer and to received that what Craig had given her before...

She was disturbed in her thoughts by Sean "hope you're dreaming about me..."

"of course I was..."

"Liar..." He kissed her.

"What are you doing on Saturday around 2pm?"

"I don't know, you know I'm a busy busy man, I have an unsastiable girlfriend..."

"pssshhh...Anyways, I was wondering if maybe you want to come with me to meet somebody very very special to me."

"Of course, I will...I've been wanting to meet your dad, Em and tell him what an amazing daughter he has"

He gave her a hug...


	15. Disappearance

Thank you for all the reviews :-) Please let me know what you think :-)

Chapter 15: Disappearance

Jay was slowly feeling better, at least physically. He did not know what would await him after the rehabilitation center. He had not heard from Alex a single time since she had left his room. He was too proud to call her; he had done that once, when the ravine adventures had gone public and she had, he thought, forgiven him.

This time was different, he knew it. For some reason, he also knew that he should not pursue her; it was not good for her. She needed her space and he needed to realize what he wanted before making any moves.

He was still thinking about Emma. It disturbed him in a way, he did not know if it was just what Emma represented that made him feel that way.

He always thought of her as almost unreal, untouchable, too perfect…belonging to a world where he only could peek in without ever entering it.

"Mr Hogart, it's time for your medicine"

"She's pretty hot" thought Jay and then smiled "I guess even though I'm all introspective right now, it is hard to teach an old dog new tricks"

Alex had been doing pretty good considering she had left the man who she thought was the one for her. She had a sit-down talk with her mom and they both let a lot of things out. They both ended up yelling, crying, calming down but it seemed as if the door of communication was now open on both ways and Alex was feeling optimistic. She was thankful for Jay not trying to reach her even though she wanted to hear his voice, even though her addiction to him was still strong enough that she wanted to wake up in his arms.

Emma could not believe that Saturday was finally there. Sean had changed outfits about 6 times which was him meant put a different wife beater under his nice shirt. He seemed a bit worried to meet her dad. He kept on repeating: "It's a big deal, Em, you know it's a big deal" She laughed and kissed him on the cheek "well you meant my mom and got drunk the first night both her and Snake invited you for dinner, so unless you plan on doing drugs while meeting my dad, we should be fine"

He shoved her gently not very proud of that particular memory but looking back fondly thinking that already at that time, Emma was there for him, not judging him. He had become a better man thanks to her; he knew it as much as she was always denying it.

Emma was not nervous, she knew her dad could have odd reactions but he had been pretty good the past few times. Moreover, she had prepared him for Sean and she knew that he was looking forward to meet him.

They drove to the clinic, not speaking very much, just holding hands.

Spike had been very surprised when they told her when they were going. After that initial reaction, she then turned to her daughter, hugging the young woman she had become, she whispered: "I am proud of you, Em". Her voice was very emotional as she said it.

It was one of those moments, where Emma knew she was back to being herself, not because her mom felt proud of her but because she felt at ease to be in her arms. She felt no shame about herself anymore. She knew her mom was happy for her and approved of Sean. She also was well aware about the fact that the part about Sean had not been so easy for Spike and Snake. They of course appreciated Sean, and could not thank him enough for saving Emma's life that fateful day that Rick was humiliated and changed from bullied to murderer. They still remembered though how many days Emma cried silently in her room when Sean decided that Emma was not paying enough attention to him and wrote her off to hang out with Jay.

But seeing the two of those together, they also knew that young love sometimes can learn to mature if given a second, or in their case a third chance. Most importantly, Emma was once more smiling.

"We're there" Emma turned to kiss Sean, one of those kisses that said "I love you, thank you for being you".

"He's been expecting you Emma" one of the nurses told them "and you must be Sean, he's really looking forward to meeting you. He mentioned you at least twice everyday".

They opened the door awaiting to see Shane.

"He's gone"

"What do you mean he's gone? He might be in one of his sessions, why don't we ask somebody?"

Emma just felt on the chair, desperation and angst in her voice "He's gone Sean, there is a note right there"

"I am with Emma's friend" Sean read out loud...


	16. Trying alone

**Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi nor any of its characters :-)**

**Long time no update, I don't know if I still have readers for this story but I'm using some time off to finish it :-) Please read and review!**

**Trying alone**

Emma let out a short cry before falling down on the floor, shaking and repeating: "dad, dad I'm sorry"

Sean took her in his arms but she turned away: "It's all my fault, it's me, I should have known." Tears were falling down on her cheeks. Her skin had turned a pale shade and she put her hands to her stomach: "I'm going to get sick" She ran to the bathroom…

Sean was rereading the note when it occurred to him that they had to alert the police, the hospital, Emma's mom…He started to dial on his cell phone when Emma came back.

"Don't do it, he'll kill him if he knows the police is going after him.

Em, we cannot do it alone, we don't even know where they are."

Emma was trying to think, she was trying to stop images of her father being beat up by Jordan just like Jay had been. She was just feeling so helpless, so guilty…

A beep on her cell phone stopped her thought process.

"You need to come alone at the hotel it all started. Alone."

"- What was that?

Nothing, just Manny asking if I could pass by later tonight."

She was looking straight into Sean's eyes but he could still feel whenever she was hiding something from him. And this was definitely one of those moments.

"Em, listen, I know you're lying. Listen I got to know to help you. We need to call the police…

-NO!!" Emma screamed, tried to push Sean out of her way but even with all her strength, she was no match to him. She started hitting him on the chest yelling: "You don't get it, you just don't get it, if we call the police, if he knows that they are after him, he will kill him, he will kill him. You gotta let me do what I have to do. I have to save him." She tried to run from him but he just held her tighter.

"Em, the more we're waiting, the worse it will be. You have to trust me, you have to trust the police. And look who is talking, I mean come on I'm the one who has experience with them.." His try to lighten the atmosphere did not bring a smile on the beloved face.

"Fine, give them a call, I'm going to go talk to the nurses and let them know". Sean did not want to let her out of his sight. "Let me go with you, and the cops will want to talk to you too.". Emma shrugged: "fine".

Emma took a quick last look at her dad's room and picked up the scarf he was currently knitting. She had her cell phone in her pocket, and was trying to find a way to go to the hotel without anybody finding out…

The police arrived fast to the hospital, her mom and Snake came shortly after. Everybody was talking at once and Emma's head felt like it was going to explode.

"Mom, I have to go call Manny, she had left me a message. I'll be right back." She kissed Sean, hugged her mom and walked towards the exit. One of the detectives wanted to stop her: "I'm just sending a message to my best friend, cannot do it here, the reception is awful." She let a long breath out as she made her way outside the door. She turned on her phone and replied to the message Jordan had sent her: "I will be there, alone, do not do anything to him". She turned around to see what was going on inside the hospital, the detective who was guarding the door was now talking to one of the nurses who was making her way back home.

Emma did not think twice and started walking towards the train station. When she was out of sight from the hospital's door, she began to run, her heart pounding with only one thought in her head "I cannot let my father die".

She caught one train going back to the city, her hands were shaking as the familiar beep of her cell phone let her know a new message was waiting to be read.

"We will be waiting, but hurry up…my patience will soon reach its limits. And come ALONE. Go to room 332."

* * *

At the hospital, Sean was looking around trying to catch a sight of Emma but she was nowhere to be seen. He turned to Spike:

" Where is Emma?

She went to call Manny, she should be around."

They talked to all the people in the lobby.

"She went outside to call a friend of hers" The detective looked uneasy. "But I thought she had gotten back inside".

Sean felt his chest oppressed as if somebody was preventing him to breathe.

He dialed Manny's number:

"Manny, talked to Emma earlier.

No, I was going through a traditional Santos family reunion where my dad tries to tell me I need to change my attitude…you know…the…" Sean cut her never-ending stories about her family.

"Listen, Emma's dad disappeared and it seems he is with that guy. Emma said you sent her a text message earlier..

I did not…where is she?

She's gone." Manny gasped.

"Listen Manny, if you have any idea where she could be, where that guy could be. Call the cops, call me…if you hear from her…

I will let you know. I am going to look for her."

Spike did not need to ask Sean if he had found out where her daughter was, one look at his devastated face gave her the answer. She hugged the growned boy who she knew was the only one understanding the emptiness she was feeling.

"we'll find her, we'll find them. I'm sure we will." She stopped talking when she felt Sean's tears on her neck and just held him a bit closer.

* * *

Emma was growing impatient in the train, she kept on looking at her watch and her cell phone. As soon as she heard her stop, she jumped out. She did not have a plan, except making it to the hotel and make sure her dad was ok.


End file.
